Our Reactions Define Who We Are
Many a times in the past, we all have gone through this. On a busy road some rash driver overtakes your car in a rush, cuts you off, endangering many lives as he or she whiz passed you . Let us analyze this action. Action is always true, real, tangible or visible. That can be termed as instantaneous in nature. It is time bound, occurs within a certain span of time.
An action is bound to generate a reaction or reactions. That is the Law of Nature. There are two individuals associated with any event. One is the 'Doer' who carries on the action and the other being the 'Observer', who is affected by the action. The Observer here is one who reacts.
How one reacts is directly dependent on how the observer interprets the action of the doer. And based on that reaction, an action from the observer is bound to follow. This immediate reaction is transitory, intangible and invisible. Whereas, action resulting in the observer may be prolonged, tangible and visible. This can be analyzed a little further and deeper. Let's start with the kinds of reactions that follow the action of the incident of rash driving mentioned earlier.
The observer will generate either of the three reactions as stated below:
A) Negative : Disgust or anger arises as a result of fear and anxiety. Although natural, that clearly is a negative reaction which is immediately generated. What comes to the observer's mind , image of the doer's family background, uncivilized upbringing, additions, arrogance and many other traits. This is spontaneous and easy but completely imaginary. Its generated by speculations and projection of the the observers own mind.
B) Neutral : We can be neutral to someone's action when we accept that he was literally in a justifiable situation for the action he did, where he had to rush. Else we can completely ignore that the action just happened, which is rather hard to do. whatever be the method, it will help us being at peace.
C) Positive : What happens when we can not ignore someone's unjustifiable act? There is a possibility it drags us towards a state of negative reaction, which is the next level. There must be a way to divert this to a positive reaction. It can be done in two stages. First, we must accept the acknowledge the action, give our thoughts a pause and be at peace within. And then, pray for the person that he or she may do the right thing. Wish good for the person and pray to God for help.
In all the three situations, the action being the same, the divergent reactions that sprouts in our mind will generate negativity, neutrality or positivity. The example of the rash driver is an action whose reaction in us will be instantaneous. We may or may not know the doer, we may or may not be able to recognize or relate to the doer. In this case the reaction may be less impactful for the observer.
Now, imagine a prolonged action or repetitive action of someone we know, someone we are acquainted with and interact on a regular basis at work or in the family or a friend. When he or she keeps repeating the same action with characteristics which can be termed as negative and unjustifiable, the reaction from us will no longer be instantaneous. It will be prolonged. And over a period of time, we will develop a somewhat repulsive and distasteful attitude towards the doer. As are the actions, so will be the reactions prolonged. And these reactions will slowly define the character or our state of mind of who we are as individuals.
From the Great Masters, we should remember the teachings for this character building in us. The three divergent reactions mentioned above can similarly be applied on us. That in a way will help us generate positivity and build a stronger Self.
Inspired from the 'The Book of Joy : Lasting Happiness in a Changing world' by HH The Dalai Lama, Archbishop Desmond Tutu and Douglas Abrams